I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
