i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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