I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
