Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
ttyl tear gas
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
