____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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