so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize