The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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