he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
