i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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