We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
