: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I deserve this hangover.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
