Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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