I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
