he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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