Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize