Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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