How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
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No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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