I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
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Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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