can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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