Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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