how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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