I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
