You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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