and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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