real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
