Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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