I wanna bring you to show and tell
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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