One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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