girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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