You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
