it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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