i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
