I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
