Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
