How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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