We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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