My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
