I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
