a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
