he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
