soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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