She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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