you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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