i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
