chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
