This girl is more easily done than said...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
