I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
it's like heaven, but drunker
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
