omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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