the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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