there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
