Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
