I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
