I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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