Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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