she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
