Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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