you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
