PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
