Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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