dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
