I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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