i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
